Relationship influence relationships Essay

Physical attraction is based on people’s appearances. Often a caring, kind, and affectionate person will go unrecognized among others. Mostly such people find their partners due to physical proximity, â€Å"one’s actual physical nearness to others, in terms of housing, work, school, and so forth.† On the other hand, an attractive person usually would have far more attention from others. Mills had an experiment which showed that â€Å"most important determinant of desire to continue relationship was physical attractiveness.† (1982) However, in Today’s Magazine, the article read : â€Å"according to a new study, [men are] willing to overlook a woman’s body shape and weight if she’s friendly and likeable†. But, consider that the article, if you read it, doesn’t present other important information, such the percentage of people who are in the category, and to what extreme were those studies true: it’s likely that men can overlook minor unattractive traits, but it doesn’t totally disprove the study mentioned above. Even though the point if this study may have changed slightly, it is not a secret that attractive people seem to be more of everything, since with beauty, person seems happy, healthy, successful, interesting, even if it isn’t necessarily so, which is called the halo effect. Another kind of attraction is romantic attraction. It is â€Å"love that is associated with high levels of interpersonal attraction, heightened arousal, mutual absorption (‘with regard to romantic love, the nearly exclusive attention lovers give one another.’), and sexual desire.† Romantic attraction has a â€Å"like scale† and a â€Å"love scale,† that Zick Rubin brought up to measure the â€Å"attitude† towards friends and love partners. In result, love usually included passion and commitment, whereas liking lacked those things. Estimated by these scales, type of attraction can be described by the chosen attitude towards each other, as to what the two people think of each other, and whether they are intimate or not, and so on. Just as there are different reasons for forming our personalities, there are different causes which bring people together. The reason some people choose to date who they date is partially due to homogamy -â€Å"the attraction of people who are alike† and heterogamy – â€Å"the attraction of opposites.† A person may seek to find someone with similar qualities or with the opposite ones to â€Å"balance out.† To some degrees, love may be just a mere excitement. This love (which is also something like secret love) is determined by different situations, such parents’ disapproval, or when fleeing the country with someone. Just as in secret love, those events may lead to feel even stronger attraction. But even if such situations can be an attribute to the relationship, it can also bring conflict. Those relationships can be affected by uncertainty of whether there is any kind of attraction between the two people. (As Kenrick wrote, â€Å"it is sometimes hard to tell the difference among sex, love, and infatuation (1989).† There are also two problems: excitement that adds to attraction and boredom that decreases it; the influenced behavior may not be the cause of attraction. (Homans 1961) Similarly, I am sure there have been times when you’ve known or heard of someone who, for example, embraced everyone he or she was friends with. His or her behavior doesn’t necessarily mean deep attraction, but it may just be a way in culture, personal way of showing friendship, or a habit, or may be the fact that he or she misses his/her girlfriend/boyfriend. Any of those reasons may be the factor, why due to body language, a woman may take such action for affection, or, from another point, a man can misunderstand woman’s â€Å"warning signals†. References Homans, G.C. (1961) Social Behaviour: Its Elementary Forms, New York, Harcourt, Brace and World. Kenrick, D.T. and Trost, M.R. (1989) ‘A reproductive exchange model of heterosexual relationships’ in Hendrick, C. (ed) Close Relationships (Review of Personality and Social Psychology 10) Newbury Park, CA, Sage. Miell, D. & Croghan, R. (1996) ‘Examining the wider context of social relationships’ in Dallos, R. & Miell, D. (eds) Social Interaction and Personal Relationships, Milton Keynes, Open University. Mills, J. and Clark, M.S. (1982). ‘Communal and exchange relationships’ in Wheeler, L (ed.) Review of Personality and Social Psychology (Vol 3), Beverley Hills, CA, Sage